The Great Dolomite

Scene I
(Boy sitting in front of a computer in a dark room. Girl lying on her bed with a laptop. Boy sitting at a desk with a laptop. Girl sitting in a large chair in front of a desktop. All four are in a chat room.)

David: So how old are you guys?

Yasmyn: We’re not all guys.

David: I’m sorry, how old is everyone?

Dolomite: Oh great we have a feminist here.

Stephany: what’s wrong with feminism?

David: I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with feminism, right?

Dolomite: No, no of course not, I LOVE hearing about how men are evil and women are strong.

Yasmyn: You’re kind of an ass aren’t you?

David: (to the audience) I guess I’ll never find out how old they are.

Stephany: I’m seventeen.

Dolomite: Shush pipsqueak, the grownups are talking right now.

Yasmyn: Could you BE more rude?

Dolomite: We’re gonna find out aren’t we?

David: (Trying to change the subject) Anyone watch the news lately? There’s a story about a killer loose in the city.

Yasmyn: Just because there’s a killer loose in your city doesn’t mean that we’re gonna be interested.

David: Where do you guys live?

Dolomite: Why should we tell you? You could be the killer.

Stephany: He’s not a killer.

Dolomite: You’ve only known him for thirty minutes.

David: I’m only seventeen.

Dolomite: Age never stopped anyone before.

Stephany: What city?

Dolomite: Chicago

Stephany: That’s the city I live in!

Yasmyn: Me too. I’m surprised you know that.

Dolomite: Just because I don’t like feminists doesn’t mean I don’t watch the news.

Yasmyn: And did the news mention anything about a little boy being the killer?

Dolomite: He seems awfully interested in talking about it that’s all.

Yasmyn: I think out of the four of us, YOU’RE the most likely suspect.

Dolomite: I don’t think so, you don’t know me.

Yasmyn: I wouldn’t want to know you either.

David: I’ll be right back.

(David stands up and walks across the stage. He sneaks into Yasmyn’s room. He then proceeds to kill her with a compass. He hums to himself while using her shower. David walks back to his room and sit’s down. Curtain.)

Scene II
(Same setting as act one, Yasmyn’s body is lain across her desk. David is just sitting down as the curtain opens. Dolomite looks anxious.)

David: Sorry, had to use the bathroom.

Dolomite: Sure you did kid.

Stephany: You’re back! I missed you.

Dolomite: Yasmyn hasn’t whined about anything in a few minutes. (To the audience, I hope she’s ok.)

David: Maybe she had to do something.

Stephany: So David what school do you go to?

David: New Trier.

Dolomite: That’s where the first murder happened, aren’t you worried?

David: Not really, things don’t usually happen to me.

Stephany: I thought about transferring to that school, how is it David?

David: It’s a pretty good school, I like it, and it’s not for everyone.

Dolomite: It’s usually considered one of the better schools in the city. You must be pretty bright kid.

David: I get by.

Stephany: (Too the audience.) He’s modest too. (Swoons.)

David: So what do you guys do?

Stephany: I’m only seventeen so I just work at this hotel taking coats for hall events.

Dolomite: I’m a small business owner. (To the audience, “That’s a lie. I’m actually a Private Investigator. The Chicago Police Department has had me on retainer for the past few years, just a while after I left the force.)

Stephany: Oh, a small business owner. What do you sell?

Dolomite: Services.

David: What she meant to ask is “what do you busy yourself with?”

Dolomite: I help people. What about you David?

Stephany: Yeah David.

David: I work in a small store by my school, and also do some freelance work for the local paper.

Stephany: That sounds really interesting!

Dolomite: Yeah, David, working near the school sounds very interesting. Has your paper taken any notice of the recent situation with the murderer?

David: We ran an article about him last week, I didn’t write it but the author did have some interesting ideas.

Stephany: What did you write last week if not about the killer?

David: I wrote about him this week, the editor wants a fresh take every week.

Dolomite: So what were these “interesting ideas” your friend had?

David: Oh gosh, no. He’s not my friend, too geeky. He thought the most likely suspect would be someone from the school, since most of the crimes were committed within a certain radius, and most of the early victims were students.
Dolomite: How do you know the killer is a he?

David: He thinks the killer is a man.

Dolomite: Nice save.

David: (mischievous grin) Thanks.

Stephany: This seems to be getting a little competitive guys, can’t we just go back to being friendly?

Dolomite: I was never nice remember?

David: You really weren’t.

Stephany: David, why AREN’T you worried about the killer? If he’s targeting people in your area, shouldn’t you take more precautions?

Dolomite: Of course he doesn’t, nothing bad happens to him.

David: Of course not, I’m Irish! (David says this last part with a smile.)

Stephany: What are you Dolomite?

Dolomite: I’m not sure; I never got a chance to ask my parents. I know I’m Caucasian though.

Stephany: Aw, I’m the only Hispanic here.

David: Yasmyn was Hispanic.

Dolomite: How do you know that? And why do you say “was”?

David: She hasn’t said anything in a while, I figured she left. Anyway, doesn’t Yasmyn SOUND like a Hispanic name?

Stephany: Shame on you David! That’s racial profiling!

Dolomite: Seriously kid, we live in America; you can’t talk like that anymore.

David: Well it DOES sound like a Hispanic name. I’m not saying that it’s some kind of definite proof or something. (To the audience. “Although I gotta admit, she and her house both looked pretty Hispanic to me. Not to mention the ID and documents that all pointed toward that.”)

Stephany: Good, I hate racists.

Dolomite: Well now, hate is a strong word.

Stephany: That doesn’t mean I don’t hate them.

Dolomite: This is true.

David: (To the audience. “They’ve taken the attention away from me!”) It’s rather late, I think I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight Stephany, Dolomite.

Stephany: Wait!

David: Yes?

Stephany: Maybe we can do this again sometime? I’d love to add you guys so that we can talk some more.

Dolomite: I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

Stephany: Pleeeeeease?

David: I don’t mind, I usually finish homework too early and have nothing to do.

Dolomite: Fine.

Stephany: Yay!

(All three log off for the night and prepare for bed. Stephany drifts off into a content sleep, thinking about her new friends. David falls asleep nearly instantly and has no dreams. Dolomite checks his doors and windows before putting his weapon and badge on a desk and struggling to drive the thoughts out of his head and sleep. Curtain.)


Scene III
(Scene opens with the characters waking up. Stephany takes a shower as soon as she’s out of bed. David sits on the couch with a bowl of cereal watching cartoons. Dolomite is sitting at a table in his kitchen with a cup of coffee and a bagel; he is reading the morning paper.)

Stephany: It’s nice to be clean. (Stephany giggles.)

David: Mmpff… (Crunching sounds can be heard.)

Dolomite: Oh no, I can’t believe Yasmyn died yesterday. She probably died while talking to us.

(Dolomite is pacing the kitchen by this time, talking to himself.) I need to find this killer soon, before he strikes again. I guess it’s off to the Doloffice now. (Dolomite grabs his coat and slams the door behind him.)

Scene IV
(All three characters are in a chat room that night.)

David: So how was everybody’s day?

Stephany: Mine was great, but I couldn’t wait to get home.

David: What school do you go to Stephany?

Stephany: Northside Prep.

Dolomite: I spent the whole day running around the city, interviews, paperwork, all that stuff.

David: (He has a suspicious look.) I thought you were a small business owner.

Dolomite: That doesn’t mean I don’t have errands.

David: But interviews? That seems a little odd an activity for a store owner to be doing in the middle of the day when he should be working.

Stephany: Maybe the service he sells is interviewing.

Dolomite: Yeah David, it’s a free country, the economy is in the toilet and creativity is on the rise, so don’t be mad just cause I’m a clever little guy.

David: (To the audience.) “Little is right! If you know what I mean.”

Stephany: I had a tiring day at work today, I was covered in a mountain of coats! It was horrible.

David: Well I ran into a lot of buttheads at work today, if that means anything, and so many people are starting to clam up about that killer, it’s been nearly impossible to further my story.

Dolomite: I thought they wanted a different writer every week.

David: They did, but they liked my story so much they asked me to help the stories flourish with my input.

Dolomite: Sure they did kid.

Stephany: Really? That’s great!

David: I thought so, the pay is great.

Dolomite: So were you able to find anything on the guy?

David: Weren’t you accusing me of being the killer myself for having that same level of interest?

Dolomite: And I was wrong, wasn’t I?

David: Yes, you were.

Stephany: Yay, you’re making up!

Dolomite: I’m just a guy who cares for the city he lives in. It’s not a crime.

David: Well what I heard was that the girl we were talking to yesterday was killed.

Stephany: Oh my God!

Dolomite: I read that in the paper this morning.

David: Do you know how old she was?

Dolomite: She was around 23.

Stephany: That’s so young.

Dolomite: Haven’t you ever seen a slasher film? Most killers tend to prefer killing younger people, they’re more full of life or something.

David: Watch a lot of those TV specials on serial killers or something?

Dolomite: My previous job brought me into contact with some unsavory people.

David: Are you a cop?

Dolomite: (To the audience.) "I'm so glad I'm not anymore or I'd have to be honest." No, I told you I'm a store owner.

David: Just making sure, you know us teenagers, we're so fidgety.

Stephany: My brother's a cop, I really wish he wasn't.

(David gets up, and slowly makes his way to Stephany's cubicle room.)

Dolomite: I don't think David liked when I accused him of being a killer.

Stephany: Well who would LIKE that?

Dolomite: Good point, maybe I was wrong.

Stephany: See David?

Dolomite: David?

Stephany: Where'd he go?

Dolomite: Stephany where do you live?

Stephany: I don't feel comfortable telling you that.

Dolomite: It's ok I'm an Investigator.

Stephany: But you told him you weren't.

Dolomite: I know, as a cop you have to tell people when asked but being a P.I. gives you some more freedom.

Stephany: Why do you need to know?

Dolomite: I just have a feeling, and these feelings are usually right. Just let me check out the neighborhood and make sure everyone's safe.

Stephany: Ok.

(Dolomite rushes to Stephany's house cubicle in time to intercept David. Stephany looks confused and somewhat frightened. David has an evil grin on his face. Dolomite is out of breath.)

Dolomite: David!

David: So that's what you look like, it IS Dolomite I assume.

Dolomite: Who else kid?

Stephany: Somebody tell me what's going on.

Dolomite: I think he's here to kill you.

Stephany: You're still on that?

Dolomite: How else would he know where you live?

David: I asked her.

Dolomite: And she just told you?

David: She told YOU, didn't she?

Stephany: David what do you want here?

David: Oh nothing much, I just want to hear you scream.

(David lunges for Stephany, Dolomite jumps in front of him and the two fight for control. Dolomite comes out on top and cuffs David.)

Dolomite: Shoulda waited till you got older kid.

David: Thanks for the advice old man. (David springs up and jumps into the audience and escapes.)

Dolomite: Damn! (Sigh) Are you ok Stephany?

Stephany: (Through tears) I think so.

Dolomite: It's gonna be ok, we'll catch him.

Stephany: I know, I just liked him, that's all.

Dolomite: It'll go away eventually.

Stephany: Who are you anyway? I mean really?

Dolomite: Me? (Heroic pose) I'm The Great Dolomite!
(Curtain.)